Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Sweetly Syndicated

Today's Prompt: My TV Show. My blog has been turned into a TV show.

It'd be worth watching for the cute kid shenanigans at least. :) Or maybe the soundtrack.
I suppose the pilot episode would certainly be the post about the time that Hubslee tried to feed me 134g of pantry snacks in the middle of the night because he thought I was low. It's best to start the audience with your funniest material.

We'd need a good cast. I don't know who would play me though. Someone skilled in snappy repartee. I think as a young girl that I modeled myself on the likes of Claire Huxtable and Julia Sugarbaker, with a touch of Lisa Simpson. Each of those characters not only always knew the right things to say, but had a style and an authority with their speech. You could trust those ladies - and even the spikey-haired cartoon goody-goody - to get things done. In reality, unless I'm teaching high school kids and really on my A-game, what you get is less authority and more humor. More awkwardness, less grace. Roseanne Connor meets Liz Lemon from 30 Rock.

The show would be set in the suburbs. In a house that's never clean. Toys and music and shoes scattered throughout every inch of floorspace. Dogs and cats and a part-monkey toddler running in each direction. It'd have a theme song set to the same tune as Abba's Waterloo (because it's the catchiest song ever written). And it'd be the kind of thing you'd Tivo because it'd come on at weird hours of the day and always run 10 minutes late.

There would be a running gag about how many people and animals could fit in the king-sized bed - and the bed would become a recognizable element of the show - like the couch from Friends or the elevator from the Bob Newhart show. (Yes, I can reference programs that old. Leave me alone.)

Like Doogie Howser or Carrie Bradshaw, I might occasionally be seen typing away on a computer at the end of the episode, but more often than not, you'd see me with my iPhone in hand, typing one-thumbedly as I hang cloth diapers on the line, leaving a kitchen full of dirty pots and pans and a basket of unfolded laundry for tomorrow.

Diabetes would work its way into every episode - sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly. While not always a plot element, it would work its way into my character.

Because that's what life is like here at Sweetly Voiced. Tune in tomorrow for another post. Same bat time, same bat channel.

This post was written as part of NHBPM - 30 health posts in 30 days:

No comments:

Post a Comment