Sunday, February 12, 2012

This Time

I'm curious as to how my expectations will match my experience this time.

The last time that I had a baby, I stayed up too late on Sunday night washing pots and pans because I wanted to come home to a clean kitchen. I ended up throwing my back out doing it, too, and that made for an even more uncomfortable week in the hospital.

Tonight? I'm going to try to get some sleep. I know I'll stay up late going over details in my head - mostly worrying about Sweetie. Making sure she has sippy cups in the fridge and a lunch packed. Being anal about laying out her clothes so that Daddy doesn't bring her up for her first sibling photo op in her Christmas pajama pants.

Last time, I went into my c-section worried about what Sweetie's blood sugar would be at birth and how big she'd be. This time, I'll still worry about those things, but I know that (a) Sweetie was normal size with normal blood sugar and all the worry was unfounded and (b) I have to let go of guilt if his stats highlight a different set of circumstances. I know he is going to be bigger than she was. By a pound or more. I'm prepared for that. I also know I achieved some beautiful numbers. And that, even if he has a low blood sugar at birth, we will rectify it quickly because I'm a badass at breastfeeding after 18mos of rocking it with Sweetie. (Confidence. Yeah. Right on.)

Last time, I made a couple of innocent Diabetes mistakes. I wore my continuous monitor sensor on my left arm and my insulin pod on my right, thinking I wanted them out of the way of the surgeons, but I had forgotten they'd need to use an arm for my blood pressure. The blood pressure cuff squeezed the living hell out of my pod and I was preoccupied with that discomfort (and that of the Foley catheter - aye carumba) throughout the whole surgery. The cutting didn't bug me. (Epidural = good stuff.)

This time, I'm going in with the sensor on my lower back and an infusion set for my Cozmo pump on my tushie. As long as the device placements don't interfere with epidural placement (and don't cause me any more MRSA staph infections!), we should be good. I've got my Omnipod PDM preset for postpartum, so I can actually just remove my Cozmo if it will be in the way during surgery.

Last time, when I arrived at the hospital, my endocrinologist ordered 12-24 hours of pump suspension (meaning no insulin) and a dextrose drip (meaning lots of sugar). I didn't need food until 9 hours after surgery, but the dextrose had me skyrocketing two hours after the initial suspension began, so I secretly kicked my basal insulin back on post-op. It pissed off my L&D nurse because she didn't want me disobeying the orders she got from my endo, but I knew I needed insulin.

This time, I've requested an insulin drip during surgery and we will see what I decide to do with my pump based on my post-op readings. I've thought about using Cozmo's disconnect feature and secretly slipping myself the anticipated missed basal insulin before I disconnect. (hee hee) But that makes Hubster nervous about lows, so I won't. I've got my Omnipod PDM set up with all of my initial postpartum factors, basals, and targets (thanks to the Evil Genius). All I will have to do is slap a fresh insulin pod on and go. We'll just have to see what happens. I'm not one of those freak women (i.e. most of them) whose pancreases suddenly remember how to produce insulin for a day or two after delivery (because the immune system suppresses the autoimmune attack on beta cells and can allow them to produce insulin briefly). I KNOW that I'll need to reconnect my pump and that it will take tweaking with my doses and that that may mean I will have a lot of lows at first. That's okay. I welcome the challenge. I have a great team on board for that.

Last time, there was a lot I didn't know about my rights and restrictions in a hospital. I didn't know how to demand lactation help (and didn't get it until she was 4 days old and getting sick). I didn't know that I could ask for breakthrough pain meds besides the epidural. I didn't know I wouldn't be able to get real people clothes on over all of the IV tubing and should just plan to stay in the hospital gown.

Last time, I didn't bring small enough clothing for the newborn photos (may not be an issue this time with a chubster). I didn't plan what we would eat for lunches at home the first week and didn't have enough meals prepped in the freezer.

This time, I am armed. Multiple outfit options for Baby. Multiple people I can call if I'm denied consultation with a lactation specialist (thank you, La Leche League and badass breastfeeding friends). A medicine cabinet at home already stocked with Motrin and awaiting a fresh Rx for Darvocet. This time, I've got my mommy friends signing up to bring us meals. (Oh, sooooo thankful! You girls will be the greatest help to us and I can't wait to sample your cooking.)

Life is learn-as-you-go though. There will be things that happen this week - new people I encounter and unforeseen obstacles this time, too. It's the same hospital, but it's different doctors, nurses, circumstances. This time, I'll be in a rush to get home to my daughter. I'll be shooing Hubster to go home with her rather than stay even though I'll be desperate for help overnight at the hospital. I'll be worried about both the kids and what they each need.

Last time, I was confident. Excited. Felt I had it together. This time, I'm confident and focused...but impatient. I want this part to be over with. I want the pain of these last couple weeks to let up. (My abdomen is measuring over 50" around and I'm distended from the extra fluid and enormously plump resident.) I want to get started with the next chapter.

And this is the inevitable passageway I have to cross through.

We are excited to meet the little guy. But I know we are far more excited to nestle into our new routine at home.

I expect he will be bigger than a Cabbage Patch Kid...


  1. Keep us posted if you can honey. Sending you lots & lots of love, prayers, happy thoughts, good vibes, & pixy dust. That should just about cover it. :)

  2. This is SO EXCITING!

    I'm WAY impressed that you already have the pod ready to go. Seriously...that ROCKS :)

    Hi Five on the breastfeeding! WOOT! I nursed all 3 of my babies for 2+ years, and love your attitude. I was surprised how much easier it was the second time. HOLLA LLL!

    Congrats on the amazing event that awaits your beautiful family!

  3. Thinking of you! Hoping all goes well,and you'll be holding your son in your arms soon...can't wait to see pics!

    I wore my pod on one arm for the first few hours of labor/rest of the (postpartum)hospitalization, & they wouldn't check on that arm as soon as they saw it there. My Dexcom I just took off,given that it wasn't accurate(w/the drug of choice being Percocet) anyway. It's interesting to read other T1's experience's with labor/C-Sections. (and breastfeeding, a work in process for me)
    I wasn't one of those lucky freak insulin producers either...that must be really, really nice.

    And a speedy recovery as well.

  4. I am sooo excited!!! For both you AND my birthday twin!!

    I think I read that I will meet him at Friends for Life this summer? I can't wait.

    P.S. Maybe give Hubby access to your Twitter account so we can get a quick update tomorrow? ;)

  5. You are so very prepared. All will go well. It will happen as its supposed to happen. So glad you are so very confident and ready. I breasted all three of mine for 18 months plus, so ROCK ON with the breast feeding hon! Can't wait to hear how it goes and how big he is!

  6. It will all be wonderful and I'm sure the ease of it all will surprise you! You have SUCH an amazing team there to support you...and I'm sending tons of good luck vibes from this side of the pond!

  7. Good luck (or congrats if you've already had him - I'm a bit behind on my reading)! And hopefull you'll get the support you need for the breastfeeding. I nursed Elise for 2 1/2 years and I'm still nursing Mattias... it's the best!