Monday, April 2, 2012


Today's Prompt: Quotation Inspiration. Find a quote that inspires you (either positively or negatively) and free write about it for 15 minutes.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” --- Charles Darwin

I re-discovered this gem of an image on my iPad photo reel the other day and, like many great quotes, it stopped me in my tracks.

We talk about survival mode a lot, whether it's...

My girlfriends who are overwhelmed, like me, by the needs and idiosyncrasies of their newborn babies...

My friends who, like me, are juggling a challenging health condition like diabetes...

My friends who struggle with depression...

My friends who are struggling financially...

There are times in each of our lives that require being okay with Just. Getting. By.

The TV may be the babysitter, the food may be take-out, the blood sugars may be out of range, the paycheck may be paper thin, but it's enough right now that you're here. It may not be pretty or graceful, but it's adequate.

Where diabetes is concerned, worrying about our ability to control this erratic hailstorm of a disease sends many into a spiral of self-loathing.

I'm not strong enough to do this. I'm not smart enough to figure this out.

Darwin's quote reminds us that change is the only constant. And that we don't have to be strong enough or smart enough. We just have to be able to accept that things change.

I didn't expect to have a newborn who was miserable for the first few weeks of his life. The sleep deprivation at 5am when I just can't stand and bounce anymore - it makes me feel weak. The quizzing from doctors about just how much spitting up there is and do I want to proceed with this treatment strategy or that one - it makes me feel ill-prepared.

But I don't have to have Herculean strength and I don't have to have any coherent answers. I just have to love him and cuddle him, try different treatment routes, and accept that, whatever it is, it will get better as he navigates through the tricky newborn "fourth trimester." I have never doubted that this stage will pass. Even with, and in spite of, everything I may try to do for him to make him more comfortable now.

I didn't expect to be diagnosed with a chronic illness at age 10. Diabetes has always seemed like a challenge to my resolve and my intelligence. It laughs in the face of my problem solving. It bangs on my door when I'm most in need of a break. I've had phases where I've given up because it's just too exhausting to pretend I can control it.

Life's hurdles like these strike indiscriminately. Regardless of how strong you are. How smart you are. And you absolutely HAVE to be willing to accept that you can do the same thing two days in a row and achieve different results. You HAVE to be able to see the number on the screen and roll with it. Realize you left your insulin at home and roll with it. Have your doctor change all of your treatment strategies and roll with it.

Your survival depends on it.

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