Thursday, November 17, 2011

Whisper Words of Wisdom

Today’s Prompt: Let It Be. What’s something that bothers you or weighs on you? Let it go. Talk out the letting go process and how you’re going to be better to yourself for it.

I'm going to use today's prompt to give you some words of wisdom about marriage.

Everyone will give you advice about how to make your marriage strong, communicative, fulfilling...and some of it is bunk.

The piece that is bunk for us is the "Never go to bed angry" mentality.

Hubster and I rarely have real discord, but when we do, as with many couples, it can get ugly. And the truth of our ugliness is that neither of us wants to let it go. And the later it gets and the more tired we are, the worse the yelling. The worse the tension. The worse the holding on. We can't just let it be.

But we learned years ago that if we would just GO TO BED ANGRY, we would wake up refreshed and in love. I don't know why it works for us, but it does. The sun is shining, we're apologizing over a cup of hot coffee, and we're hugging extra long at the door before one of us leaves for the day.

That was us a few days ago. Both of us were overtired and overworked. Both of us were angry that the other couldn't accommodate what we felt we needed to relax and unwind, so instead of winding down, we got wound up. We spent a good two hours trying to work it out, but in the end, rest was the answer.

Sometimes the best advice people have to give you won't work for you. You have to learn to let go of expectations and live in your reality. My reality is that we are unreasonable grumps when we're tired. And that our love for one another is secure enough that we know the other will be there in the morning, ready to face another day as a couple.

When the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me.
Shine on until tomorrow. Let it be.

This post was written as part of NHBPM - 30 health posts in 30 days:

1 comment:

  1. I actually hate to go to bed angry because I'm afraid of diabetes killing me in my sleep... it's my worst fear made even worse by the prospect of our anger at each other defining our last moments together. That's my not-entirely irrational fear though, all thanks to diabetes.

    On a happier note, I have to say that the photo of you and your hubby is adorable :)