I've been thinking about this post for weeks. In the hustle and bustle of our crazy madhouse days - with the sick cat and the home repairs and the colicky baby and the hubster's work stresses... With too much coffee and too little sleep, the living room looking like Santa's overturned sleigh, spit-up in my hair, clothes that don't fit my weird post-partum figure.
Throughout the month of March, my husband and I couldn't help but think of where we were last March - we whisked ourselves away to the Caribbean on a Disney cruise. And we can't wait to go back. We're already planning our next one.
My perfect day would be some amalgamation of the days that Hubster and I have stolen away from the world, traveling. Walking the streets of Paris, playing with our little girl in the white sands of the Bahamas, riding roller coasters at Disney World, ducking into a Boston Dunkin' for coffee in the snow.
Never do I feel so relaxed as when my spouse is truly escaping from his high stress career on an honest-to-goodness vacation. So my dream day would have him free of his responsibilities.
My best days these days are days when things are quiet. We've got nowhere to be. Sweetie on the swing set, Dibbs smiling and cooing (sigh...and letting me set him down without crying as though he's in mortal peril).
All of these thoughts have been in my head and I was telling Hubster about what I thought I might say here.
"I think we'd be back on a cruise again," I said, busy at the stovetop making dinner while the baby screamed in his bouncer and Sweetie was jumping on the couch.
"And we'd have the Artificial Pancreas," he added.
"Hmm." [pause] "Is it weird that my mind didn't even go there? I guess it says something about my outlook."
I believe that perfect days are not impossible, even with imperfect blood sugars.
Diabetes can certainly F up the best of days with its surprises and twists, but I can't let it take over. I will vacation with my family - and with diabetes - but never from it. And I will still manage some dream days.
My blood sugars have often been uncooperative on the best days of my life. My wedding night saw 400s - staph infected infusion set site meets wedding cake. Diabetes is always there and has almost always been there - on good days and bad. And I've had to make peace with that.
But on Hubster's perfect day, I'd have some version of a working pancreas.
I can respect that.