D-Parody: Treat More Moderately

"Treat More Moderately"
(a D-Parody of Jewel's "You Were Meant for Me")

I hear my Dex, it's 3 A.M.
Get out of bed, go to the kitchen.
I eat some toast, I eat some pancakes, too.
Finished off the maple syrup, I left none for you.

I break open a box of tastykakes.
I leave the wrappers here all over the place.
Smear Nutella on the counter,
And the pantry door,
I don't think I'll have a problem with that low anymore 'cause

[Chorus:]
Carbs last for so long
Even after they're gone----
When I'm low, I panic and eat,
And soon I know I will see-----
I should treat my lows,
Treat more moderately.

I nudged my husband, he was out for the count,
Took a tiny bolus, just a random amount
So I logged onto Twitter, it was more bad news
More lows overtreated, bodies abused.

Checked out my Dex and the climbing trend,
Facebooked an update and reached out to a friend,
But she was low and I was high now,
And I was feeling oh so bad 'cause

[Chorus:]
Carbs last for so long
Even after they're gone----
When I'm low, I panic and eat,
And soon I know I will see-----
I should treat my lows,
Treat more moderately.

I go about my business, I'm doing fine,
Trying so hard to stay between the rumble lines.
Same old story, not much to say,
Highs and lows happen everyday.

I brush my teeth, I put the cap back on,
I know you hate it when the kitchen light's on,
I count the carbs up and turn the sheets down
Take a deep breath and a good look around.

I check my number and hop into bed.
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead.
I try and tell myself it'll all be alright.
I just shouldn't eat anymore tonight 'cause

[Chorus:]
Carbs last for so long
Even after they're gone----
When I'm low, I panic and eat,
And soon I know I will see-----
I should treat my lows,
Treat more moderately.
Yeah, I should treat my lows,
Treat more moderately.

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