Monday, September 9, 2019

D-Parody: Juice


Juice
(a D-Parody of Lizzo's "Juice")

Meter, meter on the wall,
Don't show me, 'cause I know I'm high.
Rebound now from a low
And now my sugar’s in the sky.

I be pumpin’ so much sauce
Got a bih lookin' like an IV.
Beeping like a car alarm.
That's right, baby, 2-5-3.
That's how it goes.

If I'm droppin’, every glucose tab is mine.
Say don’t overtreat, you’ll end going high,
Diabetes don’t get better over time.
Heard you say: “it should be simple”, why’re you lying?

It ain’t my fault that my glucose hit the roof
While my basal was reduced.
Gotta blame it on the juice.
It ain’t my fault beta cells don’t reproduce,
And all hell has broken loose.
Gotta blame it on the juice.

Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee
Blame it on the juice, blame it, blame it on the juice
Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee
Blame it on the juice, blame it, blame it on the juice

Hadn’t brought a snack with me.
That hypo came on way too fast.
I was dropping through the floor.
So mama drank the whole damn glass.

That fruc-tose concentrate
Hit me like a ton of bricks.
Hold up, sugar, please.
Don't make me have to take this bitch.

If I'm droppin’, every glucose tab is mine.
Say “don’t overtreat, you’ll end up going high.”
Diabetes don’t get better over time.
Heard you say “it should be simple”, why’re you lyin’.

It ain’t my fault that my glucose hit the roof
While my basal was reduced.
Gotta blame it on the juice.
It ain’t my fault beta cells don’t reproduce,
And all hell has broken loose.
Gotta blame it on the juice.

Ya-ya-ee (ya-ya-ee), ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee
Blame it on the juice, blame it, blame it on the juice
Ya-ya-ee (ya-ya-ee), ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee
Blame it on my juice, blame it, blame it on the juice
Ya-ya-ee

I’m done with this CGM.
These double up arrows ain’t my friend. What?
They ain’t my friend. What?
I better take insulin.
I gotta go slow down this up trend. What?
This up trend.
(What'd you expect me to say?)

It ain’t my fault that my glucose hit the roof
While my basal was reduced.
Gotta blame it on the juice.
It ain’t my fault beta cells don’t reproduce,
And all hell has broken loose.
Gotta blame it on the juice.

Ya-ya-ee (Yay-ya), ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee
Blame it on the juice, blame it, blame it on the juice
Ya-ya-ee (Ya-ya-ee), ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee
Blame it on the juice, blame it, blame it on the juice.


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