Complication

Complication.

That's such a gentle word in normal parlance. A hiccup. A head scratcher. A riddle.

How will we fit an extra chair at the table? Oh dear, that's a complication I hadn't considered. How do you solve for X in this equation? Well, that's a little complicated. Let me think. What's going on between you and your ex? Eh, it's kind of complicated.

To people with diabetes, the word complication is code for "quietly life-shattering." It's a code word for failure.

The list of possible complications from diabetes is ridiculously depressing. I'd list them here, but between direct and indirect correlation, the list would be so long that I couldn't be sure to exhaust the possibilities. Essentially, if a system or organ requires nerves, blood, or oxygen, it's fair game. Eyes, kidneys, heart, lungs, reproductive organs, skin, bones, stomach. I can't think of a system that's off-limits. It's awful to think about. So we don't. Most of us online, I mean. We choke it down and push it back and we don't dwell on it.

Dr. Bill Polonsky (love him) likes to say, however, that well-controlled diabetes is the leading cause of NOTHING. That reassurance always bolstered me when I'd let my thoughts wander to darkened corners.

But then when I wander into the many parent forums where I lurk and see parents reassure one another with "but all of these people with complications, they don't have the tools that we do. They didn't take care of themselves like our kids will..."

It makes me stop and grieve for the parent whose child passes away while sleeping - the parent who was not to blame and was doing everything "right." It makes me think of my friends with retinal problems or nervous system problems or tingling in their toes, regardless of whether or not they have managed their diabetes well.

And it makes me righteously angry.